Plant Strong Camping

I am on a mission now to do all the things that I couldn't do or at least couldn't do comfortably while I was morbidly obese.  Camping was one of the things on my list.

I love being in nature.  It gives me so much joy and peace.  If someone would have asked me to go camping back when I weighed 400+ pounds I would have thought about how miserable I would be and immediately decline.

It was so nice this weekend being able to comfortably sit in a lawn chair.  If you are not overweight then you won't understand the issues people who are obese deal with.  Like the horrible chafing between your legs because of the constant rubbing.  Add the heat and humidity to that and it makes for one miserable summer!

I was a little worried going camping because I wasn't sure what I was going to eat and I didn't want to be tempted to eat the junk that other people brought.

I make it harder than it has to be sometimes though.  The easiest thing I made was the hobo packets and I would have been happy eating that every single day.

My veggie hobo packet had yellow potatoes, green beans, zucchini, squash, onion, mushroom, garlic, and seasonings.  Wrap it in grilling foil and throw it on the fire until the potatoes are tender.  It was delicious!

For breakfast I enjoyed my green tea and fruit.  I brought steel cut oats but didn't end up eating them.  

I also had homemade tortilla chips, guacfauxmole, and veggies with hummus.

I'm not going to lie, when the guys were making their pizza hot pockets over the fire I was drooling a little bit.  However, now I am able to think beyond that initial moment when I think it will taste so good and consider what eating that will do to my mind and body.  

I know that I have a food addiction and taking one bite of the old junk food will trigger a downward spiral for me.  I choose to avoid it all together so I don't ruin all the hard work and progress I've achieved so far.  

Plus I had to remind myself that if I were still eating the Standard American Diet (S.A.D.) I would not be camping this weekend.  I'm able to do so much more now that I've focused on eating fuel for my body instead of eating for my taste buds.

I will definitely go camping again and next time I hope to add more activities like horseback riding, kayaking, tubing, etc.  Being able to enjoy life and not being stuck on the couch is a better reward for me than any donut, cookie, or chips!  I used to spend my weekends on the couch watching movies and eating crap.  

Not anymore!  I refuse to waste this precious life that God gave me.

Beauty from Ashes

Many years ago someone prayed over me and whispered in my ear "They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting for the Lord for the display of His glory."  The person was encouraging me to step into the will of God.  I was so depressed at the time about my situation and about how fat I let myself get.  So when I heard this, immediately I thought, no way.  I don't know why it's so easy for us to accept negative rather than positive feedback.

Even though I dismissed it at the time, it never really left me.  Every now and then that verse would pop into my head.  I looked it up and started dwelling more on it.  When I think of a mature oak tree I think of something solid.  Something that cannot be swayed with deep roots.  

That gave me a lot of hope actually.  When this person spoke this over me I was in deep despair about the choices I've made in life.  I never felt worthy of love because of the sexual abuse I suffered growing up as a child, which was a huge contributing factor to why I treated my body so terribly.  Even to just write these words is somewhat terrifying but I feel like I'm led to write it because there is freedom in speaking it out loud.  I feel like I wallow in shame when I hide it and keep it to myself, which I have done for many years.  But the shame is what has led me to make poor choices in life and then lead to even more regret.  

This verse is so comforting to me in so many ways.  I know that God doesn't want me to despair and that He wants to give me beauty for my ashes.  Knowing it and feeling/experiencing it are two different things though.  I'm 39 years old and am just now getting to the point where I want to embrace the spirit of overcoming and not be ashamed of my past.  I've spent too many years in despair and now want to live in the Joy of the Lord.

I want to encourage anyone out there suffering with the shame of sexual abuse that God can heal you.  You don't have to carry the shame with you.  Give it to God and let Him work on you from the inside out!  You are worthy of love and He has a much bigger plan for your life than drowning in despair.  What do you have to lose? 

Embrace where you are at

I often find myself looking back on my past and feeling regretful.  Lately a thought pops in my head about how much I'm enjoying my life now that I've lost a huge amount of weight and feel so much healthier.

However, the very next thought is usually about all those wasted years and how I wish I would've changed so many years ago instead of lingering in the idea that I couldn't change.

Then I see pictures/quotes like this one on Facebook and sometimes I swear God is on my news feed! :)  

I guess I want to encourage anyone out there who feels like they can't change or that it would be too hard or that it would take too long, to start now where you are at with what you have.  If you have a desire to change at all, start now! Don't wait until Monday or the beginning of the month or even tomorrow...start right now!  I don't regret anything on my journey.  I know I had to take that journey to get the determination I have now to continue on my path to optimal wellness.

I'm so thankful for the people God has put into my life along the way who have inspired me and encouraged me to continue growing.  I hope I can repay that and inspire/encourage others as well.